September 12, 2015 by Lyn
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
She didn’t know why she’d decided to stay Jaya all day. It wasn’t comfortable, yet, and the way people looked at her was weird – not like a freak, like she’d always feared, but like a piece of meat. But she had to get over it eventually and, well, it made Ty look at her in a lightly constipated way, which, since he hadn’t gotten over his sulk from Sunday, was kind of nice.
Until PE. She hadn’t thought about that part of it until it came time to change into gym clothes. She couldn’t go into the guys’ locker room looking like this, so she snuck into the girls’, hoping no-one would notice her. Hoping no-one would notice her peeking, either. There didn’t seem to be such as thing as an unattractive girl at Addergoole, but this locker room was full of nearly-naked really hot women. Shahin, peeled down to nothing but gloves, when she’d never seen her without layers of dress. The girl had a gorgeous ass! The two redheads were absolutely mind-melting. Marje, whether or not Alex was dating her, was cute, with a little tattoo at the center of her back just accentuating her curves. She bit her lip and tried not to stare, all while trying not to be stared at, either.
Oh, god, one of the redheads was looking at her, she’d been caught. Kylie… no, it was the other one, Kailani. She was stripped down to just a cute little lace bra and panties, and Jaya swallowed hard as the girl smiled at her and approached.
“You’re Jamian oro’Ty, aren’t you?”
“Uh, yeah,” she said uncertainly. “Jaya.” Where was she supposed to look? She sort of focused on the nose, hoping that was safe.
“Ah, because of…” she gestured, and then blushed as well. “Sorry, that was rude.”
“No, it’s okay, I’m just getting used to it myself. Yeah. It seems to be what people do, when they, um, yeah.” God, she sounded like a moron! She glanced down, catching sight of the lace bra again. Couldn’t the girl put some clothes on?
But no, Kailani seemed blissfully oblivious to Jaya’s discomfiture as she continued. “Sorry. Um, Dr. Caitrin asked me to send you her way. Well, she asked me to ask Ty about you, but you’re here, and Ty’s not.” She bit her lip. “I’m doing it again.”
She was indeed, bouncing in a very distracting manner as she shrugged her shoulders. Jaya snapped her gaze back up to Kailani’s nose, blushing again.
“No, no, it’s okay. But Dr. Caitrin? Why?”
“Oh.” And she was blushing, too. “She said that Daeva and some half-breeds,” she frowned the word out like it was distasteful, “could help with energy transfer. You, Ivette, Joff? And I guess with the,” she hesitated on another word and settled for “problems going around, she’s stretched pretty thin.”
Problems. Problems which weren’t Jaya, weren’t Manira. “Okay, I’ll head over after class. Thanks.”
“Thank you,” she nodded, turning to walk back to her locker, swaying just so… Jaya could watch her walk away all day long.
Then another set of legs interposed themselves, wearing snakeskin boots – no, Jaya realized, those supple scales were actually her legs – and her gaze travelled up, over more interesting territory, to a blond-framed face set into a sneer. “See anything you like, freak?”
Jaya gulped. Freak. Wait, “freak,” coming from a woman with snake scales? She blinked up at the girl, and tried honesty. “It’s a rather attractive room,” she admitted. “Nicer than the boys’ changing room.”
“I’m sure,” she scoffed derisively. “Are you done eyeballing us? If you want another show, you’ll have to pay for it.”
“Sorry.” She pulled her sweats on hurriedly, not looking at anyone. That didn’t stop her from hearing a coy voice ask,
“‘Pay for it?’ Xaviera, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the rest of us are for sale.”
“Oh, certainly not all the way, Shahin!” she laughed. “But if he had something good to trade, I might do a little dance for him.”
“Ah, not a whore, just a stripper. Good to know.” A gloved hand patted Jaya’s shoulder, and she tried not to jump. “It’s safe now.”
“At least I wouldn’t be someone’s pet. Is that fun for you, licking that poser’s… boots? But it must be so much worse for the little freak. What’s it like to wish you were the man when Ty fucks you?”
“Oh, that’s so last week,” Shahin smiled. She was between Jaya and Xaviera now, giving Jaya a gentle shove towards the gym, which she gratefully took as an escape. “But it was… educational. You ought to give it a try sometime.”
“No thank you,” she snorted, as Jaya left them behind.
Xaviera seemed content to pick on Shahin during class, who, in turn, seemed nothing but amused by it. Still, Jaya changed quickly at the end of class, off at the end of the locker room where she was less likely to be bothered.
Ty was waiting for her outside of class, leaning against the wall like nothing had ever been wrong. “Hey, cutie.”
“Hey.” She didn’t feel like getting into it with him, especially not after the debacle of gym class, but she couldn’t just ignore him. He Owned her, after all.
“What’s it like to wish you were the man when Ty fucks you?” An entire life of keeping it a secret, and now it was out where everyone could see.
“I couldn’t find you last night. You kind of vanished after dinner.”
“Playing poker with Mel’s crew.”
“Well, yeah.” Dr. Caitrin had wanted to see her. She should go change and drop her books off first. She began ambling that way, letting Ty follow or not, as he chose.
He followed, of course. ‘Why?”
It took here a moment to catch up with that; why what? Oh, yeah. “I don’t own any skirts.”
“I didn’t mean the jeans. Well, a little. But I thought you hated the girl thing?”
“I have to get used to it eventually, don’t I?” She regretted it a little once she’d said it, but it was out there.
“Yeah, well, but I figured you were safer doing so, you know, with me around to protect you.”
“Your reputation protects me enough. Everyone knows I’m your property.”
“Jame’, Jaya, don’t be that way,” he managed to beg and command at the same time. ”You’re not property.”
“Are you releasing me, then?” She tested the edges of the command and found that she could still be bitchy if she wanted, and found she still wanted – though as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she found herself struggling with panic. No, gods, don’t be releasing her! What would she do?
“Then I’m still…” There was the command. She couldn’t say “your property.” “Still yours. And your reputation still keeps me safe in the halls.” Until she’d come to Addergoole, the worst she’d had to worry about in the halls was a little bullying.
“Do you still want to be mine?”
Oh, god, yes. The longing was sudden and painful; she settled for nodding because she wasn’t sure she could speak around the lump lodged in her throat. But Ty was frowning. Why was he frowning?
“Niki said,” he said, as if unwinding the thought as he spoke, “after I – after we broke up, that, even though the thought of sleeping with someone who – who was a guy sometimes – disgusted him, even though he hated that I’d trapped him, that,” he was choking out the words by now, “when I Owned him, he couldn’t think about not being Owned by me. That even when it was hell, he didn’t want me to leave him. Until I released him, I mean.”
She thought about Bowen and the beaten expression on his face, and the flat way Joff talked about his former Keeper. Ty sometimes frustrated her, but he’d never hurt her. “Nikita is a little bitch,” she said firmly.
“Well, yeah.” His smile was still weak. “But Shiva said the same thing.”
“Oh. I, well, I’m not gonna call Shiva a bitch.” They were at her door; she opened it. “Come on in. I gotta change.”
Ty followed her in, still frowning. “I… I can’t let you go,” he muttered, once the door was closed.
“I don’t want you to,” she answered easily.
“I thought about it. Maybe Shiva and Niki were right. Maybe you were right. I don’t need another kid. I went to talk to Regine, but she’s not seeing anyone right now.”
“Mmm?” She made reassuring noises while she changed, staring at herself in the mirror; she wasn’t really sure where Ty was trying to go.
“So I went to talk to Dr. Caitrin…”
“Is that why she wanted to see me?” Nope, the voice wasn’t right yet, still too high.
“Uh? I don’t think so.” It threw Ty for a loop; he stared at Jamian changing for a minute. “That’s so neat… but I talked to the doctor,” he dragged himself back on track, “and she doesn’t think Regine would let me get away with it. Well, you get away with it.”
“With what, Ty?” He tried to be patient, but Ty’s jitters were making him uncomfortable.
“Babies.” Ty frowned, as if he should have been keeping up, and Jamian flopped to the ground, wondering what he’d done wrong.
Oh, yeah. “What about babies?” he asked nervously.
“Not having them. I thought maybe… but Dr. Caitrin is pretty sure that Regine will force matters if we don’t take care of them ourselves. So, ah…”
Jamian stared at him, lost and totally perplexed. “Ah?” he managed, brilliantly.
Ty looked nervous. “This isn’t easy,” he admitted. “Okay, this is what I can do. We can take as long as you want, right up to the last day of school. We’ll take things at your pace. We’ll get pregnant together, that way you’re taken care of for your graduation requirements and don’t have to think about it at all, if you don’t want to, with anyone else.”
“Wait, what? Ty, you’re not…”
“Let me finish, Jame’, this isn’t easy.”
Ty gulped hard, and Jamian sat on his hands to keep from going to him, hugging him. Whatever he was doing, he had to get through it on his own.
“You’re right,” he finally continued. “I’m a lousy parent. I don’t know if I can get better. Shiva and Anise are good at it; I never really thought I’d have to be. Niki… I don’t know about Nikita.” He made a dismissive gesture as if cutting himself off. “Not what’s important at the moment. We can worry about that later.”
The we made Jamian feel warm inside and nervous at the same time, but he was still too confused to feel much of anything else.
“I don’t know if I can be a good parent,” Ty repeated. “But I, um, have three kids to practice on. So by the time I graduate, I’ll know. We’ll both know.”
“Well,” Jamian began, but Ty still wasn’t done.
“If I could get you off the hook with the kids thing, I would, Jame’. I know it’s way too much, way too soon. I can’t, though. So… if I can’t raise them with you, if I can’t be a good parent… I’ll sign over maternal rights of the child I carry to you, and I’ll help you find someone who can,” he struggled for a moment, “who can be a parent to our kids.”